A Difficult Ending

After our day of the rest, Kyle, Kevin, Ally, and I were motivated to wake up before most of the other pilgrims and get started, even after the fiasco the night before. To our surprise, the drunk man, who we had only seen shadowed in darkness, was still awake and still completely wasted.  He was apparently past the loud and aggressive stage, but every time there was a small sound he would theatrically mime throwing a bowling ball and seemed to expect us all to laugh. We thoroughly ignored him and headed out into the deep darkness to begin our day.
The way through the city was easy to find by following the shells that were cemented into the ground every 50 feet or so. I was happy, energetic, and enthusiastic to be walking. Things weren't so bright for the others in my group. Kyle's waist buckle snapped and without it all the weight of his backpack would be dangerous for his back and shoulders. He rigged another one somehow, but felt very low. His sister and her boyfriend were also feeling negative and though I tried to encourage them, but Ally was in pain from her feet, Kevin didn't like walking in darkness, and Kyle had a whole slew of concerns I could do nothing about.
Even so, that morning was filled with promises from Kyle that he would finish this journey. He earnestly told me, "All my life when something gets hard I say 'fuck this' and quit. I need to prove to myself and everyone that I can finish."
I was rooting for him and really wanted us to walk into Santiago de Compostela together someday.

Not long after sunrise I began to walk ahead of my friends. It is very difficult to stay at a pace which isn't natural to you and I felt really great walking my own pace. It was my first time really walking alone and while I enjoyed the solitary reflection I also missed companionship. So, I waited on a bench in a field of dead sunflowers. For twenty minutes I sat and enjoyed an apple, looking anxiously for Ally, Kevin, and Kyle. Finally, I moved on again until I came to a small town with little more than a church.

Dead sunflowers

Waiting there allowed me to meet Ha and Kim, two South Korean women walking the camino together. They gave me a croissant and we talked happily about their country. After we took some pictures together they moved on and I sat alone in front of the church.
Before too long I heard a familiar, loud, American voice and soon I could see Kyle and the others coming my way. I was so relieved to be in their company again. I had been worried that something bad had happened and that maybe I would never see them again and never know what happened.
We ate happily together and then set out again at a very slow pace. Kyle was in obvious pain and though the way was easy and the weather nice it seemed like he might not make it.

An iconic camino picture spot

Around 1 PM we were still 7 kilometers from where we planned to stop, despite our early start. Kyle wanted to keep going, but Mandy insisted that we stay at the closest hostel and Kyle eventually gave in. I stayed with them as well, but there was a sinking feeling in my chest.
It was a relaxed and mellow day. I thought about the journey a lot. Kyle's ankle and knee were swollen and painful, not to mention his blisters. He had wanted to continue to the next town, but really I knew that he would only injure himself more. I wondered if I was hindering his camino. He felt like he should keep up with me, but maybe the wise thing for him to do would be to stop and get better.
Dinner that night was nice and we had light conversation, though I think we all realized it was probably our 'Last Supper' for the four of us.
Deciding to go on alone was much more difficult than it would have been just to stay with these new, yet dear friends of mine. Throughout the day, Erik's sad words of knowledge from our first night kept replaying in my head; "You'll meet people, but don't be afraid to leave them."